Bittersweet Goodbye
Last Tuesday, Aaron and I made the most difficult trip of our lives. We took Archimedes and Arugula to Guardian Angel Basset Rescue to find new homes. It was one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make.
We have had issues with our dogs for some time now and they really deserve a better life than I can provide. That hurts so much to say. I love them dearly (they were my first babies) and feel terrible that I had to say “I can’t do it all.” I am not a quitter and here I feel like I have given up. But that is just my flesh and the evil one trying to make me feel guilty for doing the right thing for Arky, Boog and our family. In the coming months, things are going to get very crazy and I don’t need the added stress of taking care of 2 semi-high maintenance dogs. They are super sweet and lovable and I miss them terribly but it was becoming more and more stressful for them and us all living together.
Anyway, I have good days and I have bad days. Today was a bad day. I cried most of the way to my doctor’s appointment this morning. I missed them so much. I regretted letting them go. I want forgiveness from them. I want them to understand why this had to happen.
See the irony in all of this is that they are probably having the time of the lives right now! They are getting super special attention and love from wonderful people. I was told about a potential adoptive family of a recently retired couple who have had bassets for years and just lost their beloved pet. They want a bonded pair (which ours are) and want to travel with them (they have a couple vacation homes) and just enjoy a couple of sweet dogs regardless of health issues. This family seems perfect! They are going to have SO much stinkin’ fun and will probably never think of me again. But it still doesn’t make the pain go away for me. It does lessen it a bit from time to time but it still hurts. I see pictures of them on the wall or Abraham says a prayer for them at bedtime – talk about rip my heart out!
All in all, I know this is right in my heart. Arky and Boog are going to be much better cared for and that is what matters. I love them and always will.
Aaron's goodbye
My goodbye...thankfully you can't see the tears running down my face
Dear Lord, I pray that you will help Arky and Boog find a great new home. Thank you for the time we had with them and thank you for the courage to give them a better life. Please help me deal with this loss and heal the wound in my heart. I love them so much.
In Jesus’ name,
Amen